As I was sitting in the salon the other day, my stylist and
I were having a conversation that inspired this blog post. We talked about how
our relationships with God changed our lives for the better. We finally found
peace within. That is something that could
never be taken away, a sound peace of mind.
Me without God
I was always worried about
something! I worried about what people thought of me. I worried about my future
constantly. I worried about my family and friends.
I found myself being jealous of the next person. Someone would get this
incredible opportunity, and I would think ‘How did that happen for them, and
not for me?’ I found myself wanting what
others had. It could have been a new relationship, a house, a job opportunity,
a college scholarship, anything that made someone else shine; I wanted it too.
I started to think that maybe I wasn’t good enough, smart enough, or pretty
enough for some things.
When I started to get
opportunities I never felt good enough. Things would come into place for me,
but I just felt like I’d just mess things up in the long run. Some
opportunities were left unpursued because of it.
I was surrounded in dark thoughts. Sometimes I thought that life wasn’t
even worth living. There would be days when I didn’t even want to wake up. I
wanted to die. I was sick of being who I was. I thought I’d never amount to
anything, because of my circumstances. I hated myself for a long time. I could
never get a real peace of mind. Bad thoughts would always cloud it.
I could be surrounded by a crowd full of people, but still feel
lonely. I assumed that a boyfriend could
fix that problem.
Something was always missing in my spirit. There was always a since of
emptiness in my heart. I could never
figure out what was missing at the time.
I was easily angered. If someone said something out of the way to me, or
did something to me I could never let it go.
I could hold a mean grudge.
There are no worries
I find myself not worrying, because He is the author of my days. He knows
everything about me, so I cast all my burdens unto Him.
‘Give your burdens to the LORD, and
he will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall.’-Psalm
I have learned that what God has for me is for me. It can never be taken
away. When others receive these many gifts and blessings its apart of THEIR
journey, not mine. Everyone’s life is different. For example: someone may have
a singing voice with many runs, and I cannot do as many runs like them while I
sing. That’s okay, because those runs they are using are a part of their life’s
ministry. My jazzy voice is used for mine. We are created different for a
reason. We travel to different places for a reason. Eventually every one of us
will have our day in the sun, so what is there to be jealous about? Life isn’t
I have realized that I am worthy of all the joys that life brings. I am
worthy of love. I am worthy of the great opportunities that come my way. I am
worthy of God’s love. Some people think that they’re not worthy to have good
things happen to them, and some think that they’re too far gone to have God’s
love. I thought that once upon a time (sometimes the enemy still pulls that
card on me). That is completely FALSE. No sin is too big for God. Nothing is
too big for God.
‘I am the LORD, the God of all the
peoples of the world. Is anything too hard for me?’-Jeremiah 32:27
Be free! I am worthy. We are worthy of all great things, blessings, and
I am light
Instead of being so stuck in my emotions, I decided that I wanted to be a
light unto the world. God is light, and I am created in His image, so that
makes me light too.
I am never alone
There was constantly a pity party in my mind. I thought well I’m single
and lonely. In actuality we’re never alone.
I remember texting a friend telling her how lucky she was to find love,
so she’s never alone. She told me that I was loved too, but just in different
ways. I am loved by my family and friends. I am loved by God. These people were
a constant in my lives. There is always someone around me that loves me dearly.
I basically took that love for granted, because I thought love was about having
a significant other. In actuality love is about sacrifice. My mom sacrifices
what she could be doing just to take care of me. Jesus sacrificed His life, so
that I could be forgiven and not die in my sins. I’m never alone. I am
surrounded by love each day of my life.
I am full
My spirit is full. I lack nothing anymore.
‘So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully
developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.’-James 1:4
I find joy in each moment that I breathe. Instead of dwelling on the bad
things and getting stuck in useless emotions I find joy in the Lord. It’s all
that I have.
‘Rejoice in the Lord always; again
I will say, Rejoice.’-Philippians 4:4
not saying that it’s easy, but I have to just let go.
What were you like before your relationship with God? How
have you changed since then? Maybe you decided you want a change for the
better. It’s never too late to be freed from the chains that are surrounding
that you are loved by the Most High, and I love you too.